Are you tired of smooth, stress-free car rental experiences? Do you long for the thrill of chaos, confusion, and frustration on your next trip? Well, buckle up! We’ve compiled a handy list of foolproof tips to help you have the absolute worst car rental experience possible. (Spoiler alert: Don’t actually do any of these things.)
Skip the Research
Who needs research when you can just wing it? Forget about comparing prices or reading reviews. Just pick the first rental company you see and assume they’re perfect. Bonus points if you just use any old sketchy, random ‘cheap rental cars!’ website on the internet—what could go wrong?
Pro Tip: To really up the ante, don’t bother checking if the rental company you choose even operates at your destination. Surprises are fun!
Book at the Last Minute
Why plan ahead? Booking your rental car five minutes before you need it is the way to go. Nothing says “adventure” like finding out there are no available cars when you land. Even better, you might score a minivan for your romantic getaway or a compact car for that cross-country road trip. It’s all about spontaneity, right?
Ignore the Fine Print
Rental agreements are boring. Who has time to read all that fine print? Just sign it and hope for the best, it’s probably OK, right? Even if it’s not, you can enjoy the thrill of unexpected fees and you can just blame it on the rental company later!
Want extra fun? Don’t check what’s included—who needs to know if you’re covered for driving off-road or into other countries? Have a secondary driver you didn’t declare on booking or you’re under 25 years old? Why know in advance if they will charge you extra for it? Need to rent non-standard equipment like car seats or roof racks and you didn’t bother to tell anyone? Just assume it’s all included in the price you booked online before anybody knew you needed them! It’s probably all free, anyway, right?
Pick the Wrong Insurance
Why pay attention to insurance options? Just go with the cheapest plan (or better yet, none at all) and cross your fingers that you won’t have any accidents. If something happens, it’ll be a great learning experience! Remember, “I didn’t know I wasn’t covered for that” is a fun phrase to practice!
Choose the Most Inconvenient Pickup Time
Why schedule your pickup at a time that works with your itinerary? To really disrupt your trip, choose a time when you’re least likely to be at the rental location—perhaps when your flight is landing three hours later. There’s nothing like showing up late and learning your car has been given away!
Request the Smallest Car for the Largest Group
Who needs space? Cramming five people, three suitcases, and a dog into the world’s tiniest car is a bonding experience. After all, you didn’t plan this vacation for comfort, did you? Plus, everyone will appreciate how cozy it feels when you’re all practically sitting on each other’s laps.
Completely Ignore the Fuel Policy
Is it a “return full” policy? A “prepaid fuel” option? Who cares! Just drop off the car with as little gas as possible and let the rental company handle it. Sure, you’ll pay a hefty fee, but at least you won’t have to waste time finding a gas station. It’s all about saving time, not money, right?
Return the Car Late (or Early!) Without Warning
Timeliness is overrated. Why bother sticking to your return time when you can roll in several hours late without a care in the world? The rental company will totally understand. And those late fees? Consider them a donation to the rental gods.
Ignore Damage
Who has time to do a vehicle inspection before driving off? You’ve got a horrible car rental experience to get to! Just assume the car is in perfect condition. Scratches? Dents? That odd rattling noise? No need to mention it. After all, dealing with surprise damage charges later is all part of the fun. I mean, it’s not REALLY your car, right?
Forget to Bring the Right Documents
For the pièce de résistance, make sure to forget all your important documents. Who needs a driver’s license or credit card? Show up at the counter with your gym membership and an expired library card and watch the confusion unfold. You’ll be the talk of the rental desk!
Conclusion
If you’re looking to ruin your next trip with a truly disastrous car rental experience, just follow these simple steps! Of course, if you’d prefer things to go smoothly (but where’s the fun in that?), AutoRentals is here to help you avoid all these pitfalls. We’ve got your back with clear booking options, transparent pricing, and everything you need for a great rental experience. Just don’t follow this guide!
